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Farteroffire

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Farteroffire

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6045
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Farteroffire's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:43pm

Farteroffire's FML badges

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Farteroffire's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (12170)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (6106)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

#6283221
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (2704)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

#6282921
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7921) - you deserved it (37687)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:45am - love - by cndpost (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (8495)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (8209)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (4648)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50657) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (2472)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11881) - you deserved it (76475)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (14752)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5873) - you deserved it (47371)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)



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