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False_Stupidity

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False_Stupidity
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 September 1975 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 2642
  • Number of comments : 1623
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (2414)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (7593)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

#17527227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

#17459271
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (4281)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (23413)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (23413)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (86880)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655399) - you deserved it (48795)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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