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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 September 1965 (50 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9367
  • Number of comments : 3247
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30756) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (19007)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (39022)

On 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37048) - you deserved it (4692)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (46765)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59372) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (6588)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (2225)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (2155)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (4572)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (2246)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (3268)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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