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Falkin0113

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Falkin0113
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2970
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

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Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

#6635379
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (12597)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (1746)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25567) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (45709)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32799) - you deserved it (13812)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

#6078051
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by a (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

#6050318
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (6112)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

#5446240
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (1785)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm - love - by Tally (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

#5441571
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (11300)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

#5419998
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (7230)

On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47324) - you deserved it (5566)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47324) - you deserved it (5566)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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