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Falkin0113

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Falkin0113
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2962
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

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Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (36426)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104440) - you deserved it (14017)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (35200)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (72008)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (4705)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (3006)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

#13756380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (3500)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by jadehin (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year old man covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

#13742971
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (28336)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

#13464373
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (3065)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States



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