Falkin0113

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 11:09pm)

Falkin0113

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21995
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>ronzi</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:16pm<b>scoobs231</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:25pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:24pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Amdojin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:20am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:52pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 4:43pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:44am<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Flaco78</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:20pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:10am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:03pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:38pm

Falkin0113's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

by FUSheldon / 11/28/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

by Eganstein / 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

by notAMrs / 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Love

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

by NOIDIDNOT / 11/19/2012 at 1:21am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

by lellow_171 / 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.