Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falkin0113

Online | Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6986
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Joshwarrior</b> - 23 hours ago<b>RisanShine</b> - yesterday at 9:31pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:35pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:30am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:11am<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:16am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:28am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:07am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 8:07pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:03pm<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:53am<b>Nyx7</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:11pm<b>pawelthink</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:29pm

Falkin0113's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (29073)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (4639)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (2699)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31810) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (1822)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (6378)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (2419)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (8552)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (1524)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11137) - you deserved it (36064)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26339) - you deserved it (4794)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (1218)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (3922) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: