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Falkin0113

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 11:09pm) | Search for a member

Falkin0113

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18863
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Falkin0113 : Hey guys, I'm Fallon. If you're on here it's probably because of some amazingly smart, and beautifully intelligent comment I made. Or you're just being a stalker, either way its cool. Contact me if you feel like it.

Falkin0113's page activity

Visits<b>ronzi</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:16pm<b>scoobs231</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:25pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:24pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Amdojin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:20am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:52pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 4:43pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:44am<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Flaco78</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:20pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:10am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:03pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:38pm

Falkin0113's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Falkin0113's badges

Falkin0113's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (4313)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (4033)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (47095)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32577) - you deserved it (3108)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (4273)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (2279)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36762) - you deserved it (5595)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (5966)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (2374)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (9715)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30659) - you deserved it (6267)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (7367)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia



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