Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falassalond

Search for a member

Falassalond

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2476
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

Falassalond's page activity

Visits<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:09pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:44pm<b>myind_yabiness</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:18pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:32am<b>Duggie1339</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:47pm<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:44pm<b>cat_lover225</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rawlings123</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>blacklav3nd3r</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:47pm<b>DemonX</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:21am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 11:34pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:33pm<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:48am<b>basicperfection</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 7:12pm

Falassalond's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Falassalond's badges

Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (8170)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50423) - you deserved it (10834)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32134) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (4456)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

#20536740
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34210) - you deserved it (2375)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:04am - money - by whaaaaat111 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (19666)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (6775)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (4364)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (5650)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (4452)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: