Falassalond

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Offline (the 11/25/2016 at 4:25am)

Falassalond

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8180
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

Falassalond's page activity

Visits<b>jumpin4frogz</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:16pm<b>J_macias15</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:20am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 9:14pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:20pm<b>hox83</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:18pm<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:05am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:11am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:22am<b>swanheart</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:29am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:47pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:27am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:59pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:45pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:16am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:40am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:22pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:59pm

Falassalond's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Falassalond's badges

Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

by Parenting... / 08/27/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

by anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 10:05am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals