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Falassalond

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Falassalond
  • Town/Country : NY, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1616
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

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Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17720) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (5421)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4799) - you deserved it (18702)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (29894)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (2279)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

#19514086
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (1683)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by jack - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (17929)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

#19469914
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (4952)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by Gayeveryday (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (1738)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (1820)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)



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