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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (1855)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (74449)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (5307)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96018) - you deserved it (3048)
On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (2447)
On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (67825) - you deserved it (3904)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (4572)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (7056)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45822) - you deserved it (11145)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51982) - you deserved it (16287)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61749) - you deserved it (5479)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50853) - you deserved it (21107)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62176) - you deserved it (2485)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53156) - you deserved it (5647)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51431) - you deserved it (384)
On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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