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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Fafnir

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Fafnir
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 May 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 815
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fafnir's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (4246)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

#1868155 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (43072)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

#1866798 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (8699)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (62930) - you deserved it (7530)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Ralph's to get bread and a snack. While paying, an 80 year old lady, in a walker, took my bag while I wasn't watching. That's right, I got jacked by an 80 year old in a walker. FML

#1866289 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (5905)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by iJason (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (1811)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (63503) - you deserved it (4114)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. 5 minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

#1852747 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (7560)

On 05/11/2009 at 7:14pm - money - by omgfmlhard (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (28897)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (46345) - you deserved it (20124)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped & came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (39561) - you deserved it (2709)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (361046)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (448)

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (322906)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (5217)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)