About FacelessKun : That guy who's awkward and ordinary, but always gets the girl. I am you, if you want me to be...
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FacelessKun's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML
by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML
by Babs / 01/02/2014 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML
by SabriLittleRed / 01/01/2014 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Kids
by claubea11 / 01/01/2014 at 12:17am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by dantko / 01/01/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML
by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Cacahuete / 12/28/2013 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was,… Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've… Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that…