F_MY_L1FE

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F_MY_L1FE

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2664
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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F_MY_L1FE's page activity

Visits<b>Ash1179</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:16am<b>jennac777</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Devon00</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:03am<b>kjblack</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:57am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:07am<b>luckyducky123</b> - the 07/18/2010 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>Ash1179</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 7:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:16pm

F_MY_L1FE's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

F_MY_L1FE's favorite FMLs

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

by Numnum / 11/29/2009 at 8:02am / United Kingdom (Greater London) / Health

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

by Nobody / 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 9:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

by CT / 11/25/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

by worsethanzombies / 11/23/2009 at 11:40am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

by inpain / 11/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

by lonelyman / 11/20/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

by baddaughter / 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Holidays

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

by Klepto / 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

by Indoraptor / 11/14/2009 at 7:59am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

by angrymadman3542342 / 11/12/2009 at 1:58am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous