Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2037
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FMLshark : Hi, I'm FMLshark. I am a rare species of shark that dwells in the seas of FML. My diet consists of spelling and grammar-challenged idiots, as well as a variety of people who feel the need to say things like "Doesn't matter, had sex", thinking it's funny.
"Today, I posted a link up on reddit.... it didn't get up voted :( FML"

FMLshark's page activity

Visits<b>SarkasticGenius</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:20pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:31am<b>3051628</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:28pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:55am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 5:44pm<b>EpicKassi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:52am<b>BeatleManiac1960</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:05pm<b>emmacrossan825</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:58pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:28am<b>mcronin</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:59pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:00pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:04pm<b>najnick</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:33am<b>ChrysN</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:22am<b>unkn0wnx25</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:12pm

Fucked!<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 3:31pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:28pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:55pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 10:44pm<b>EpicKassi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:52am<b>BeatleManiac1960</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:05am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:58am<b>MeowMcMeowenson</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:28pm<b>ChrysN</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:22pm<b>unkn0wnx25</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:13am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:21am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:08am

FMLshark's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of FMLshark's badges

FMLshark's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10638) - you deserved it (53083)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (11526)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (11444)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (6289)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10330) - you deserved it (38790)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (94974) - you deserved it (16065)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63537) - you deserved it (7499)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (22261)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (9551)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: