Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLinCA

Search for a member

FMLinCA

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 February 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FMLinCA : =)

FMLinCA's page activity

Visits<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:34pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:58pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 10:53am<b>blackphoenix0010</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 11:54pm<b>IBJason456</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 3:05pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:49am<b>InBetweenDreams</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 4:50pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:43am

FMLinCA's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of FMLinCA's badges

FMLinCA's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (3330)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52039) - you deserved it (8202)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51044) - you deserved it (3865)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (19488)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46603) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (42272)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (19421)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (696112) - you deserved it (464837)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
559 comments

I agree, your life sucks (534435) - you deserved it (37565)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346188) - you deserved it (29890)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1217742) - you deserved it (127571)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

#568
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (6819)

On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (7758)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (26097)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: