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FMLinCA

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FMLinCA
  • Town/Country : san jose, ca., usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 February 1984 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 663
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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FMLinCA's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34705) - you deserved it (2207)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46257) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (15803)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (40207)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (17535)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (616710) - you deserved it (413643)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (467938) - you deserved it (23770)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312373) - you deserved it (23428)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1094846) - you deserved it (108806)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

#568
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (5064)

On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (7055)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (22514)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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