About FMLandurstoo : I'm Mitchell and I'm a junior in high school and FML is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. My favorite Family guy character is Herbert. Just to make it clear, I am straight. I miss the old days of FML with every1luvsboners and DocBastard (even though he's still here).
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Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6195) - you deserved it (28954)
On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16421) - you deserved it (1206)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18519) - you deserved it (7430)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (1905)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15084) - you deserved it (8035)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (1652)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (1652)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9843) - you deserved it (18531)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (2822)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (2464)
On 03/11/2012 at 8:38am - work - by aprilmay91 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (38110)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (35206)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (20566)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (3681)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15658) - you deserved it (16486)
On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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