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FMLandurstoo

Offline (the 04/05/2015 at 8:07am) | Search for a member

FMLandurstoo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10521
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FMLandurstoo : I'm Mitchell and I'm a senior in high school and FML is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. My favorite Family guy character is Herbert. Just to make it clear, I am straight. I miss the old days of FML with every1luvsboners and DocBastard (even though he's still here).

FMLandurstoo's page activity

Visits<b>WP40</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:50pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:24pm<b>a_w7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:28am<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:32am<b>marcusterry</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:33am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:13am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Marynfrankie</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:12am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:02pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Destrukto</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:14pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:39am<b>Kaoticlol</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 4:20pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:41am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:22am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:49pm

Fucked!<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:17am<b>Smennant</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:26am

FMLandurstoo's FML badges

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FMLandurstoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (7474)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71487) - you deserved it (8668)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73843) - you deserved it (4573)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13693) - you deserved it (69708)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

#3493845
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52402) - you deserved it (6546)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75363) - you deserved it (4234)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (11597)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63126) - you deserved it (26778)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85586) - you deserved it (6493)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114741) - you deserved it (5286)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (58693)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38888) - you deserved it (64536)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61823) - you deserved it (7814)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81547) - you deserved it (6441)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)



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