Search for a member

Offline (the 04/05/2015 at 8:07am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13367
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FMLandurstoo : I'm Mitchell and I'm a senior in high school and FML is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. My favorite Family guy character is Herbert. Just to make it clear, I am straight. I miss the old days of FML with every1luvsboners and DocBastard (even though he's still here).

FMLandurstoo's page activity

Visits<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 11:13am<b>Wolfo06</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:19am<b>rajnidevraj1996</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 8:32am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:39pm<b>necklacethief</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 11:51pm<b>masterfap</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:06am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 1:42pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:53am<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 3:45am<b>OkWhatNow</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:28am<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:27am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:19am<b>koalasforlyfe</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:36pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:29am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:28pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:17am<b>Smennant</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:26am

FMLandurstoo's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of FMLandurstoo's badges

FMLandurstoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

by misopower / 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm / China (Henan) / Intimacy

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

by bridezilla / 07/05/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

by rockstarohyeah / 07/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

by yuck / 06/21/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

by SURPRISE / 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

by Karmas3itch / 05/12/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals