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FMLandurstoo

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FMLandurstoo
  • Town/Country : Missouri, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 5337
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FMLandurstoo : I'm Mitchell and I'm a senior in high school and FML is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. My favorite Family guy character is Herbert. Just to make it clear, I am straight. I miss the old days of FML with every1luvsboners and DocBastard (even though he's still here).

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FMLandurstoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (8187)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML

#6865964
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by frapples1 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53211) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (4632)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (34069)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

#5522380
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7647) - you deserved it (25539)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Oops54321 (man) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (5978)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

#5321781
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81792) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm - intimacy - by Jackie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

#5201743
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (2187)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (2331)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66127) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



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