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FML_Whale

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2104
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

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My favorite commenters are;
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:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>thisisntmeokay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:57pm<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>FalaFala</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:29am<b>savannahmckay15</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:02pm<b>esmehatespeople</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:18am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:30am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:34pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:29pm

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (7848)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (5382)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (4724)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (8040)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (3697)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (5217)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45126) - you deserved it (5088)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (3477)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (5946)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (5940)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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