Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML_Whale

Search for a member

FML_Whale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1472
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

(List Grows/Shrinks)
My favorite commenters are;
Perdix
Pleonasm
DocBastard
Gc
Noor
Kyleekay
MITM
Gracehi
ambowew
walmartpaysme
TourettesGuyFTW
DracoSpirita
lilhellian
supportcommand
:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>thisisntmeokay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:57pm<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>FalaFala</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:29am<b>savannahmckay15</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:02pm<b>esmehatespeople</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:18am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:30am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:34pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:29pm<b>punkyboy</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:01pm

FML_Whale's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of FML_Whale's badges

FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (3195)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (2061)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (4515)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (4260)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (2674)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (7520)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46045) - you deserved it (3928)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (3680)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: