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FML_Whale

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FML_Whale

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4361
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

(List Grows/Shrinks)
My favorite commenters are;
Perdix
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DocBastard
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Noor
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MITM
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ambowew
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:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>jesswoo</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:54pm<b>decoydualist</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:49am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 12:21am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 12:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:15pm<b>OGCxILLUSION</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47320) - you deserved it (2663)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (4871)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (6091)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (4586)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (4435)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43718) - you deserved it (2972)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (8030)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50279) - you deserved it (4255)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (3990)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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