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FML_Whale

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2147
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

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My favorite commenters are;
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:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>thisisntmeokay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:57pm<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>FalaFala</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:29am<b>savannahmckay15</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:02pm<b>esmehatespeople</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:18am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:30am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:34pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:29pm

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36866) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (2066)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (2964)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (4523)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (5752)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4269)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (4131)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32750) - you deserved it (7553)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (3967)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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