Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About FML_I_AM_A_TOOL : I love this website and think some of these are hilarious. I read them all the time. I have little FML moments everyday and they are sucky, but it is not so bad when you go online and read some of the ones others have. Good stuff
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Monday 30 November 2015