FMLLIVE

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Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 1:11am)

FMLLIVE

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1259
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About FMLLIVE : I get bored a lot, so feel free to message me :)

FMLLIVE's page activity

Visits<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:55am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:28pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:29pm<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:15am<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:43pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:43pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:52pm<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:11am<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:23pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:46am<b>not_alone</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:57am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:46am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:10pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:00am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:50am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:41pm<b>jizsss</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:16am

Fucked!<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:29am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:55am<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:34am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:08am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:50pm

FMLLIVE's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FMLLIVE's badges

FMLLIVE's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

by KyngJulian / 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

by Flora / 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

by crybaby / 04/12/2013 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

by Wow / 04/11/2013 at 8:52am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous