Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FBIWarning

Search for a member

FBIWarning

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 202308
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FBIWarning : myspace.com/teh_sid_08

David is the name and FML is the game ;)

Computer Tech, Gamer, and FML lover.

Live outside of LA and livin\' free.

And Kirsty stop looking at my profile hoe.

FBIWarning's page activity

Visits<b>Marine_Semper_Fi</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:37pm<b>kd1213</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:57am<b>drew9623</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:33am<b>megiznerdy</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:08pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Tiger813</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:46am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:09pm<b>CameronWilkins</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:54pm<b>valalvax</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:09am<b>muslimpride</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:46pm<b>Snazzy_Snaz</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:36pm<b>_mnpowell_</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:38am<b>doud</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:07am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm<b>CaptainCocoa</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:25pm<b>bende</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:19am<b>yer_maw</b> - the 02/07/2011 at 8:19pm<b>SaraL</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 9:09pm

FBIWarning's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FBIWarning's favorite FMLs

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (5439)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17057) - you deserved it (94956)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (78373)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11054) - you deserved it (71896)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182459) - you deserved it (46913)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

#1446877
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54151) - you deserved it (13943)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (59122)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67854) - you deserved it (15917)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15557) - you deserved it (73111)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51010) - you deserved it (8284)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56278) - you deserved it (6362)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46911) - you deserved it (3690)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: