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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FBIWarning

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FBIWarning
  • Town/Country : Alta Loma, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 September 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 200185
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FBIWarning : myspace.com/teh_sid_08

David is the name and FML is the game ;)

Computer Tech, Gamer, and FML lover.

Live outside of LA and livin\' free.

And Kirsty stop looking at my profile hoe.

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FBIWarning's favorite FMLs

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (68472)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (75175) - you deserved it (3287)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (60067)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (8494) - you deserved it (51609)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111522) - you deserved it (26042)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

#1446877 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (10329)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (43774)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (57981) - you deserved it (11869)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (11959) - you deserved it (55924)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

#786603 (356)

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (60241)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

#587218 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (69003) - you deserved it (7038)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting "we have a problem!". Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage & half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (6949)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (2715)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)