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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (1635)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (3916)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (5111)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6162) - you deserved it (37128)
On 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm - health - by j - United States
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15046) - you deserved it (55528)
On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (8235)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (38878)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17787) - you deserved it (10206)
On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44699) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56501) - you deserved it (8697)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (11574)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (4651)
On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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