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Ezellianna's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Ezellianna's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML
by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
by ER1C / 05/16/2016 at 8:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work
Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML
by anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Work
Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, it ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML
by anon / 04/26/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
by Completely Fed Up / 04/20/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML
by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML
by echolaker2019 / 04/10/2016 at 11:57pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You are such a cute couple!" FML
by running scared / 04/08/2016 at 5:40am / Norway / Love