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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8234) - you deserved it (47399)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (48928)
On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5472) - you deserved it (77902)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (6802)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10580) - you deserved it (29663)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (40239)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (17114)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5203) - you deserved it (57309)
On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (3071)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (2963)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (14378)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56763) - you deserved it (2873)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50065) - you deserved it (4597)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (30319)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51677) - you deserved it (2685)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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