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Ewelty3

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Ewelty3

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Ewelty3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 144
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ewelty3 : Just call me your sexiness.

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"

Ewelty3's page activity

Visits<b>johndog699</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:30pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:32pm<b>ShariG2010</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:37pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:24am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:34pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:19am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>avila_boy22</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 3:19pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:15am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:27am<b>Deltaforce1</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:29pm<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:28am<b>xkore787</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:38am<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:27pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:07am<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:57pm

Ewelty3's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Ewelty3's favorite FMLs

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (5993)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
74 comments

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (11030)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (13098)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (47555)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (2535)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

#14284666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33517) - you deserved it (7253)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

#5022453
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (37567)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (12266)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4388)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)



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