Evilbear

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Offline (the 02/28/2015 at 3:37pm)

Evilbear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 816
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Evilbear : I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I can't do much. And my scars remind me that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to fail

Evilbear's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:28pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:58am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:48pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:26pm<b>meganhoffmann13</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:47am<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:40am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:41pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:53am<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Qele</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:33pm<b>yamuri</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:52am<b>ssm04</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:05pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 4:10pm<b>howlingwolf89</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:00pm<b>watfordjester</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:44am

Evilbear's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Evilbear's badges

Evilbear's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

by sillydoggy / 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm / United States / Animals

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

by tinygirl / 03/07/2011 at 1:16am / Health

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 2:43am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy