EvilTacox4

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EvilTacox4

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1115
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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EvilTacox4's page activity

Visits<b>fmlmaster99</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 1:15am

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EvilTacox4's favorite FMLs

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

by hatelife / 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by baron / 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2009 at 6:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

by anonymous / 06/01/2009 at 3:05am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

by sierra808 / 05/31/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

by anon / 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

by Wormy / 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

by Ilovelife07 / 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

by JSF1234 / 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

by mistake / 05/11/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous