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Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (26473)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (5386)
On 01/18/2012 at 10:29am - health - by partypooper (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (34392)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (2968)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (2402)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (4000)
On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (2484)
On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37064) - you deserved it (8625)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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