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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (21677)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (8142)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (1070)
On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (1536)
On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)
Today, I had to take Viagra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (4501)
On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16658) - you deserved it (32521)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (19966)
On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (1930)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30351) - you deserved it (1935)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2565)
On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (1810)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13330) - you deserved it (36899)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18959) - you deserved it (13419)
On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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