Esels_Hintern

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Esels_Hintern

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Esels_Hintern's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:45pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:03pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:29am<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:11am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:42am<b>Yogibob</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>ImSampson</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Ang19</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:03pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:35pm<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:31pm<b>InnocentMalice</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:11pm<b>ShadowWhovian</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:19pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>red225</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:21am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:20pm<b>LadySalazara</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:14pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:36pm

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Esels_Hintern's favorite FMLs

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

by onepussytwopussy / 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

by housedoctor / 02/22/2014 at 6:01am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

by Cuntface McGee / 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

by thisismyawkwardface / 02/19/2014 at 2:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

by dating a pussy / 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2014 at 11:31am / United States / Kids

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Money