About EpycWynn : I'm a language major living the dream in Dallas TX. I love tattoos cats and video games and getting wasted on the weekends.
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EpycWynn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2014 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML
by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 2:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three… Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom.… Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend,…
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…