Epikouros

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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am)

Epikouros

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (45 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 29337
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>DesignOfHalogen</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 3:06pm<b>Tattooed_momster</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:15pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 10:49am<b>danandphil</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:33pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:16pm<b>XxDARKWOLFxX</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:11am<b>heatherrr17</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 2:02am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:46am<b>Nakomai</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:00am<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:34pm<b>necklacethief</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:44pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:21pm<b>dannyoshea</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:26pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:43am<b>michu</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:22pm<b>konan__</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:21am<b>dman30</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:39pm<b>mkris</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:47am

Fucked!<b>heatherrr17</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:02am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Evocator</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:19pm

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

by -__- / 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

by Eri_Midori / 12/24/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

by oh / 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous