Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epikouros

Search for a member

Epikouros
  • Town/Country : Utrecht, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (42 years)
  • Number of visits : 4497
  • Number of comments : 758
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's last visitors

Kautktomld4657maddyharris97FlowerMamaswifty86outoftownsapphiregirlyyellowkiwi3whatthefreshhell

Epikouros's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (17679)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (4988)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14413) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16223) - you deserved it (1733)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (3824)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (10827)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18547) - you deserved it (2749)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20199) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (10797)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (9078)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (2878)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

#19792340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (2807)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: