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Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (44 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20303
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>SeanLewis</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>bloodwraith96</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:02pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:47am<b>sammy18f</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:34am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:18am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:08pm<b>SHAMUS_the_WITTY</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:05am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:02am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:18am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (48363)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (5751)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6836) - you deserved it (28464)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (8404)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (1823)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7574) - you deserved it (28022)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (7470)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (16863)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71778) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

#403
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18621) - you deserved it (7437)

On 11/28/2008 at 12:35am - work - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (15451)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (2867)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version



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