About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML
That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.
My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16922) - you deserved it (1068)
On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (4958)
On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (1468)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13645) - you deserved it (1625)
On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (1116)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15228) - you deserved it (2040)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (16437)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15641) - you deserved it (1219)
On 09/22/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (1095)
On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11782) - you deserved it (17029)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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