Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epikouros

Offline (the 02/09/2014 at 2:26am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9971
  • Number of comments : 1183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>Itsjustaphase</b> - 26 minutes ago<b>teotsi</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:45am<b>umerin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:09am<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>bakinbacon</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Hoaho4</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>kungfuzoey</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:20am<b>stormzilla993</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:26am<b>pete9913</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:17pm<b>wGx14</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:05pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37am<b>Juicylicious94</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:38am<b>raphanne</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:46am<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:15am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

#21053604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (44887)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (38778)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38088) - you deserved it (7530)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (12331)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (13794)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (5145)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (51385)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (7516)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (17270)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (4431)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (4007)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52315) - you deserved it (31864)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (8190)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38938) - you deserved it (12215)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (4717)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: