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Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (44 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22002
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>trulypar</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:39am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:06am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:55am<b>n9ck</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:05am<b>ksbrdkntr</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:50am<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:20am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:34pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:05pm<b>SeanLewis</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>bloodwraith96</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:02pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:47am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (8882)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (44220)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88430) - you deserved it (14734)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (41788)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55099) - you deserved it (27853)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (3944)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (105338)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49520) - you deserved it (3854)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48820) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62913) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (37945)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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