About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML
That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.
My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94) - you deserved it (7819)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55597) - you deserved it (324130)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (36986)
On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82001) - you deserved it (5313)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102698) - you deserved it (17444)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13890) - you deserved it (46872)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204563) - you deserved it (40438)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (651470) - you deserved it (12063)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7764) - you deserved it (31771)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178132) - you deserved it (61486)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (59958)
On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408440) - you deserved it (26487)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (5416)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (34409)
On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527585) - you deserved it (37905)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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