Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epikouros

Offline (the 02/09/2014 at 2:26am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10132
  • Number of comments : 1186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>josh2014</b> - 9 hours ago<b>slipstreak</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Itsjustaphase</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:40am<b>teotsi</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:45am<b>umerin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:09am<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>bakinbacon</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Hoaho4</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>kungfuzoey</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:20am<b>stormzilla993</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:26am<b>pete9913</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:17pm<b>wGx14</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:05pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37am<b>Juicylicious94</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:38am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11899) - you deserved it (23673)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (48071)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (51619)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (6373)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (6570)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

#7505237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (4781)

On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (7886)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11707) - you deserved it (28316)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (13506)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14107) - you deserved it (45005)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33368) - you deserved it (1680)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: