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Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11671
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>madisonn678</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:35pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:13am<b>maxx1222</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:43am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:15am<b>more4me</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:51am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:57pm<b>NickyB85</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:01am<b>kitkat1399</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:47pm<b>elevenplus</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:05pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Stegosaurus314</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:28pm<b>ryanator008</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:09am<b>Chente_313</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:38am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:19pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:30am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:27am<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:56pm

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11201) - you deserved it (35896)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (6601)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37964) - you deserved it (7988)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35754) - you deserved it (20899)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (54197)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68882) - you deserved it (7750)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52559) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29321) - you deserved it (5285)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (15311)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2372)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2914)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31607) - you deserved it (28349)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6509) - you deserved it (37165)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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