Epikouros

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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am)

Epikouros

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (45 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 26587
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:23pm<b>Nakomai</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:00am<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:34pm<b>necklacethief</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:44pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:21pm<b>dannyoshea</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:26pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:43am<b>michu</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:22pm<b>konan__</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:21am<b>dman30</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:39pm<b>mkris</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:47am<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:23am<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:22pm<b>Njunge</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:13pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:28pm<b>XCGWINL</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:44am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:43am<b>shay72014</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:49pm

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Evocator</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:19pm

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

by fired / 05/13/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

by CapnCrunchKat / 05/09/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Delaware) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

by pained / 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm / United States / Health

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

by fat girl / 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm / United States (Alaska) / Work

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

by Cat vs. Dog / 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude / 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids