About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML
That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.
My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15777) - you deserved it (2719)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16227) - you deserved it (2429)
On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (5803)
On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (10526)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (910)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8071) - you deserved it (21549)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (2151)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (1425)
On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17552) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (4125)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10582) - you deserved it (35210)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1302)
On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14377) - you deserved it (1191)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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