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About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4614) - you deserved it (527)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6332) - you deserved it (508)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5636) - you deserved it (807)
On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3800) - you deserved it (6604)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (800)
On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (657)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (2176)
Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 the workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (419)
Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5097) - you deserved it (583)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3072) - you deserved it (5261)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (1346)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2015) - you deserved it (6586)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6486) - you deserved it (706)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6783) - you deserved it (735)
On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3283) - you deserved it (10664)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
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