Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11674
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>madisonn678</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:35pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:13am<b>maxx1222</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:43am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:15am<b>more4me</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:51am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:57pm<b>NickyB85</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:01am<b>kitkat1399</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:47pm<b>elevenplus</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:05pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Stegosaurus314</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:28pm<b>ryanator008</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:09am<b>Chente_313</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:38am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:19pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:30am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:27am<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:56pm

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42856) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42479) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38985) - you deserved it (2558)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (11616)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (2609)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45101) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39081) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (4683)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (2714)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (44647)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (7694)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (5030)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: