About Epickitty58 : My talents include not shaving my legs, Internet stalking, and eating. Those that speak to me may experience gayness and feminism. Please approach cautiously.
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Epickitty58's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Kids
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Work
Today, I got a call from a job I had applied for. Everything went great until I realized I had applied to the wrong location, across town. I'm so broke, I went to the interview anyway. It will cost me more to pay for the gas to drive there to work, than what I will actually make. FML
by wellfuck / 07/15/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I put some leggings on and I was feeling pretty good about how well they fit since I've been trying to slim down. Then I noticed the tag. Not only are they a size larger than I usually wear, but I also stretched them so badly that "Spandex" is now two words. FML
by AnotherLilyBart / 07/15/2016 at 4:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by lastinclass / 07/13/2016 at 5:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by IcedTaco / 07/13/2016 at 3:40pm / Ukraine / Love
by MATTY2512 / 07/13/2016 at 2:13pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML
by DrumrollPlease / 07/13/2016 at 3:50am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML
by grosstoenail / 07/13/2016 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by jelrid / 07/13/2016 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by Bacon0426 / 07/04/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Holidays
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill… Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.… Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of…
- Today, my husband decided to sell my car, which is in excellent working condition. Why? He decided… Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high… Today, my SO started to lecture me on how caffeine is bad for the baby. I breastfeed our daughter.…