About Epickitty58 : My talents include not shaving my legs, Internet stalking, and eating. Those that speak to me may experience gayness and feminism. Please approach cautiously.
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Epickitty58's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML
by Chelstable / 08/02/2016 at 1:57pm / Holidays
Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2016 at 10:42am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous
by crazyattracts / 07/31/2016 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mother in law likes to baby my partner. Gets him drinks, kisses him on the forehead, talks to him like he's 8, does everything for him. And she gives me death stares, especially when she hugs him when I'm around. FML
by sad_unicorn / 07/31/2016 at 12:51am / Love
by :( / 07/31/2016 at 12:18am / United States / Love
by Ex-Employee / 07/30/2016 at 10:14pm / United States / Work
Today, on a girls night out at a very fancy restaurant, our waiter spilled my chocolate dessert over my new white pants. To repay up, they gave us a free bottle of red wine, which he promptly coated me in. FML
by Hutchie931 / 07/30/2016 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous
by taroschain / 07/30/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2016 at 1:45pm / Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza) / Health
Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML
by Checkpoint96 / 07/30/2016 at 12:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2016 at 9:45am / Maldives / Work
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
by Egtat216 / 07/29/2016 at 6:03pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML
by NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus / 07/29/2016 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 4:33pm / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took… Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance… Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people.…