About Epickitty58 : My talents include not shaving my legs, Internet stalking, and eating. Those that speak to me may experience my gayness and feminism. Please approach cautiously.
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Epickitty58's favorite FMLs
by rykelmb / 05/27/2016 at 7:40pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by Mercy / 05/27/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML
by ~~~~ / 05/27/2016 at 2:45pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with her animal tail butt plugs and such. Towards the end of our relationship, he called me disgusting for suggesting we spice things up with handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
by thundermoo / 05/27/2016 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML
by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health
Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML
by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, after spending all day begging my husband to stop playing video games and show me some attention, I finally fell asleep out of boredom. As soon as I did, he shut the game off and went to hang out with our neighbor. FML
by megsterr413 / 05/27/2016 at 12:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by anony / 05/24/2016 at 8:57am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, my best friend decided to make some life changes. He got a new job, a new car, and asked me to move out of our apartment. We're 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I only moved all the way out here to live with him in the first place because he asked me to. FML
by BrokenAndHurt / 05/24/2016 at 8:28am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML
by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love
Today, an old guy with a cane got up in my face for "mocking" the way he walked. In retrospect, I guess it is pretty offensive for me to have had knee surgery and still be recovering from it. My apologies. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health