......
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58737) - you totally deserved it (2258)
On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you totally deserved it (51429)
On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47646) - you totally deserved it (4730)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you totally deserved it (9690)
On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you totally deserved it (7763)
On 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by crashednowcrushed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you totally deserved it (2093)
On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you totally deserved it (38117)
On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her : my 17 year old cousin. I went to my unoccupied parents’ bedroom. My sister's baby walkie talkie was on and the whole family heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you totally deserved it (46155)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Vivien -
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