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Epalmss

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 8:15pm) | Search for a member

Epalmss

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Epalmss's page activity

Visits<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:54am<b>nabeh1213</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:22am<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Adicto1998</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:51pm<b>bellesuore</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:50pm<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 6:51pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:37pm<b>aminasalah</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:16am<b>Justified12</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:49pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:39am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:59pm<b>demitrib</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:47pm<b>PhdFloppyTits</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>dilssaaa</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:04am<b>elibel</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 1:08pm

Epalmss's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Epalmss's badges

Epalmss's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (7081)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44589) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (6316)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (8258)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

#21129433
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (6891)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:38am - health - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54104) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53668) - you deserved it (13347)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48333) - you deserved it (7042)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54692) - you deserved it (5674)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (11426)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42778) - you deserved it (6248)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)



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