Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epalmss

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 7:18pm) | Search for a member

Epalmss

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1734
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Epalmss's page activity

Visits<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:03pm<b>kansah</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:28am<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:48pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:45pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:42pm<b>nickthegoodkitty</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:09pm<b>demitrib</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:54am<b>nabeh1213</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:22am<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Adicto1998</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:51pm<b>bellesuore</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:50pm<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 6:51pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:37pm<b>aminasalah</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:16am

Epalmss's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Epalmss's badges

Epalmss's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (9291)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (54598)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (2794)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (3672)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44583) - you deserved it (7099)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (4327)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48591) - you deserved it (6514)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44569) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

#21129433
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (6910)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:38am - health - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56380) - you deserved it (3506)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51080) - you deserved it (4120)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54185) - you deserved it (13440)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: