Enzi

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Enzi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4143
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Enzi's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 6:58pm<b>spellburst</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:16am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:53pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:10pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:49am<b>dandancc</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:43am<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:00am<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:28am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:26pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:03pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48pm<b>squartle</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:16pm<b>maximus_black</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:15am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:09am

Enzi's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Enzi's badges

Enzi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

by Joplin / 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

by Crappyfayman / 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

by Brotherssuckkk / 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm / Kids

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

by travinator121611 / 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

by cricketeer / 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health