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Enzi's FML badges
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Enzi's favorite FMLs
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
by Joplin / 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
by Crappyfayman / 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML
by travinator121611 / 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by cricketeer / 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…