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Enzi's FML badges
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Enzi's favorite FMLs
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
by Joplin / 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
by Crappyfayman / 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML
by travinator121611 / 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by cricketeer / 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…