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Enzi

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 5:35am) | Search for a member

Enzi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1449
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Enzi's page activity

Visits<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:26pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:03pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48pm<b>squartle</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:16pm<b>maximus_black</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:15am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:09am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:45am<b>dropdeadluverrr</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:14am<b>Ghast1234</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:13pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:25am<b>outragedpeople</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 4:02am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:08am<b>chamay</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 2:51pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:35pm<b>eustonr</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:28pm<b>ynayr1</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 12:19am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Enzi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (3944)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (2362)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (4418)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25090) - you deserved it (7706)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (26540)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (9267)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (6812)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (4535)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17463) - you deserved it (26954) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

#18467948
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (24224)

On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (8610)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved



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