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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (20961)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (37330)
On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (3058)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (7118)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (1732)
On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14845) - you deserved it (4168)
On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35562) - you deserved it (9661)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18376) - you deserved it (7815)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (2272)
On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (2504)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (1830)
On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (3792)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123088)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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