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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Enzi's favorite FMLs
by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…