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Enzi

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 2:29am) | Search for a member

Enzi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1754
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Enzi's page activity

Visits<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:28am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:26pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:03pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48pm<b>squartle</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:16pm<b>maximus_black</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:15am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:09am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:45am<b>dropdeadluverrr</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:14am<b>Ghast1234</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:13pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:25am<b>outragedpeople</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 4:02am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:08am<b>chamay</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 2:51pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:35pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Enzi's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42732) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (7358)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (11869)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (11735)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (15341)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46265) - you deserved it (8710)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (4794)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (6311)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48648) - you deserved it (4616)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48648) - you deserved it (4616)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (5252)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43264) - you deserved it (7287)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (8709)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (27220)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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